A Nice Little Poop Anecdote.

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I haven't wrote anything for a little while as I've been super busy, so I thought instead I'd just put a nice little anecdote about a time where Samwise didn't behave himself to make you laugh on a Monday afternoon. Going to do my best at story telling here, so bear with me.

It was around 11am on a Thursday. Or a Tuesday. Probably. I was in a lecture on facebook talking to other people in the lecture, on facebook. I started to feel the burning on my stomach that happens when the bag starts to lose it's seal, meaning that some output is getting onto a tiny bit of my skin, and since a stoma output has a high level of acid in it, it can really hurt. So anyway, when I felt this I figured I best go to the toilets and check that shit out (ha).

Luckily there's rarely any girls in the toilets near my lecture halls, as girls don't seem to want to build circuit boards and play with buttons on desks. So I stood over the toilet, and got my stuff ready to do a quick bag change. This involves the following steps:

  1. Empty bag
  2. Cut the back of the new bag to the right size
  3. Seal the bottom (definitely a vital step, forgot once, got covered in poo)
  4. Shape the seal to the shape of your stoma (not everybody uses these, but I find that they help a lot, as I don't have to cut the bag so perfectly then)
  5. Take off old bag with adhesive remover and throw it away
  6. Wash skin surrounding stoma, and then dry and allow it to air a small amount
  7. Put seal and bag over the stoma
  8. Hold down for a couple of minutes to ensure that it has properly stuck
It wasn't as straight forward as that this time though. When I took the bag off, it decided it had other plans.

Ever seen a baby projectile vomit? Well, that, but from a stoma, and poo, not vomit. So I just kept grabbing more toilet roll and cleaning it off, But it was literally everywhere. It took me 15 minutes to get a bag over it before it poo'd all over the sticky bit and ruined the bag.

I was standing there looking at the walls and thinking "what the fuck do I do now" Obviously I cleaned it up, by the way. But when I finally made it back into the lecture, my friends were really pleased to hear about it via facebook.

Love and shit x

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